Girls, Girls, Girls and the Media

There must be a thousand new initiatives that have the goal of enabling and inspiring young girls to become powerful girls and women.  Women have been pushing for equal treatment and equal pay since the 1920s, and it's only right seeing as how women and girls control billions of dollars in buying power, manage to start business and families consecutively and has increased productivity of legislatures and governments across the globe.

But here comes the twist.  Despite the moves being made to tell women that they are worth every penny they spend (times 1000), despite philanthropic processes to send underrepresented women to college and the consideration given to girls in "depriving" cultures who don't have the freedoms of every other girl in America to be expressive and an individual there is still unfair treatment within the orientation, there are divisions among class, color, size and education, even style, hair color and culture separate women.  Whether it is the media or the economy of our melting pot of cultures that is procuring this division and pitting-against of women in America the effects aren't going unnoticed.

Ok, this year marked a ton of instances where women were put in the limelight.  Sarah Palin continued to show her ass, Oprah stopped the NBA Finals so that she can end her show, Chaz Bono decided to become a man, and without further description, Basketball Wives, all of the Real Housewives series, Bridezillas and Tough Love have done their part in MANipulating how entitled, selfish, mis-informed and disengaged women, allegedly, are.  

Devoted Mom or Education Thief

And then there is the legislature.  How many of us watched as Kelly Bolar, a devoted mother, was sentenced to 10 days in jail followed by probation after being convicted of "stealing" an education for her son.  When in fact all she did was send her son to an elementary school in her father's neighborhood, it was a better school than the inner-city school in her immediate neighborhood.  School officials claim that the cost of the education was approximately $30,500 for the 4 years her son was enrolled.  

I thought the charges were erroneous, in a country where we are pushed to do what we have to do to survive, get in where you fit in, and make sure you get everything you are supposed to get.  In this particular case the charges weren't overturned but Bolar's sentence was decreased to just probation.  (no one has said anything about the disparities in the funds applied per student and how they differentiate between inner-city and suburban Ohio public schools).

It just all seemed a bit harsh to treat this loving single working mother this way.  I mean, I can see if she was a party animal that would abandon her child for days at a time, partying and doing who knows what. It's not like she murdered her child or was forcing him to steal from neighborhood pawn shops.  

What does this tell black single mothers?  And I know a ton of black single mothers who are doing everything they can for their sons and daughters to halt them from becoming a statistic.  Unlike some other people that have been thrust into the limelight.

Casey "I'ma good mother" Anthony ... I'm just sayin!

Casey Anthony caused the state of Florida to spend more than a million dollars in search of her dead daughter and a truth in her web of lies.  She walks free.  

While single mother Janelle from popular MTV reality show 16 and Pregnant has about 4 drug-related infractions under her belt, and manages to make upwards of $75k a year.

In fact, the entire cast of 16 and Pregnant and its spinoff Teen Mom and Teen Mom 2 have made young girls familiar with the possible popularity of having a baby so young.  Which is funny, because this show was originally thought to show young women how challenging it is to become a mother too soon.  There are now reports of girls getting pregnant in hopes of being cast in a reality show.

Ain't that a mess?  This is what we are teaching lil white girls!

While lil Muslim girls are being killed by their fathers for becoming too American, this country really has a to invest a lot more when it comes to NOT streamlining the mindset of women into the uber-materialistic, commercial media whores that the majority is clearly becoming.  

Strippers being swept off their feet to marry football players or rappers and small town girls catching the eye of tech and internet CEOs is a rare occassion, but thanks to media at the rate we are going, women can get away with murder, as long as they look the part... 

Amanda Knox was recently freed of all charges of murder in Italy!

Black in the City is a realist type blog...I'm just calling them how I see them.  The American viewer is becoming seduced by the wiles of women who are of a small community among us.  There is a backwards movement going on here, and its moving much faster than the Girls, Inc. of the country, even the Barbie mantra of independence has been tainted by the bumping and grinding of our newest clown apparent representative 

Fried chicken necklace, raw talent? Confused much?

So, here's the call to action.  

1. Turn off these shows that depict women as confused followers of false celebrities.  
2. Read a book by one of the countries most esteemed female authors (um, the editors at Vogue, Cosmopolitan and ELLE aren't authors, so reach for a little Maya, Iyanla or Zora)  
3. Become a mentor and do what you can to speak some common sense into these young girls heads.  Let them know that every marriage doesn't have to start out of pity and end with divorce, not having a daddy is no longer an excuse, self confidence does not mean you can last the whole day in high school without taking off your 4 inch stilettos, creating classic style is long lasting and helps maintain your balance so that newer issues can be confronted as they come.  
4. Get organized, write a plan that doesn't include sizing yourself up to everyone else. 
5. Get help when you need it, stop internalizing and, by all means, be a woman...if anything else, remain steadfast with your standards and growth pattern.

(drops the mic) Stay pretty Divas

ttyl.

ok, so after I posted this I was forwarded this video of a little girl performing Nicki Minaj's Super Bass (which is a song laden with expletives and sexual innuendos), this further influences me to teach my kids the "Ain't I A Woman" speech Sojourner Truth graced an audience with back in 1851.)

Charlotte, Russe My Feathers

It's Friday, lunchtime and you just got invited to a small backyard party ... that just turned into a swanky dinner party ... that just might put you in a room full of upward mobile professionals, entrepreneurs, and decision makers.  Its more than mere beers and bratwurst, this is a wine-sipping sophisticated good time.

But, you have nothing to wear. 

Quick trips to the mall are always affordable, but what's more affordable are the styles and fashions of Charlotte Russe, they can be mixed-matched and "worn as a dress, instead of a skirt" and often times pepper my closet adding color blocking, pops of intrigue and pizzazz to any ensemble.  My quick fashion, I believe, has kept me afloat in times where your first impression is surmised from an individual style and confidence based logarithm.

Why the sudden interest in Charlotte Russe?  Because I think they may have broken the mold when it comes to inexpensive trendy pieces that fit tons of different styles and personalities.  The brand has evolved greatly over the years, so yes, I am a frequenter of the Russe.

I have the most fun in the dressing room, its like a meeting of fan club members.

::::IDEA ALERT::::  

Visit http://charlotterusse.org/

What if the dressing rooms were the fan club, customers and fashionistas alike who love trying on clothes would be greeted by a friendly Russe-r (sales associate) who then would offer to snap a pic of them in the pieces they find ... the pics would then be posted onto the Charlotte Russe FB page, twitpic'd and even put on the website.  And as new fan club members sign up to be featured other customers get the opportunity to vote for their favorite ensembles.

Someone call up Charlotte and tell her she's saved me from so many "I have nothing to wear!" moments!!!

Tell me about how your quick fashion is often mistaken for couture?

My confession ... I thrift.

The entire mission of #BlackInTheCity is creating positive, progressive and lucrative relationships with people around me.  I like to do normal things, and shine a light on activities that are a little off kilter ... my newest passtime is #ThriftyThursdays, and its the most fun ever.  I go into Thrift Stores, recreate looks for way less ... however, one of my older finds were too fab for #BlackInTheCity ... and my girl MiaRay at Confessions of a Glamaholic Blog was the perfect diva to send it to ... 

The item that I found was a 100% silk sequin dress, with a laser cut design star design... it was beautiful and I urge you all to visit the Confessions site to see the finish product and how it really resembles the Balmain dress  that was worn by Beyonce during the 2009 BET Awards.  

I found this dress before I moved to San Antonio and before I found out that it was designed by Balmain's new chief designer Oliver Rousteing.

(a black french-men, see the post I did on him).  

Check out Confessions of a Glamaholic at the next chance you get and to see the finished "Look-Alike" project, it's haute-tastic, trust me.

TTYL

She's Pretty ... being #BlackInTheCity

I have heard it time and time again, "You talk white."  And each time I never have a response.

What does it mean, to talk white?

Until a good friend of mine created the perfect comeback after an Arab man in a gas station repeated the phrase to me, her reply, "It's because she's educated."  She mixed in the proper amount of sass with an informative motherly gaze, and later told me that her sons (5 and 4) have been dealing with the same accusation of sounding white as well.

Most people don't understand differences in sound, color and size amongst the divides of race, the conversation gets deeper when these divides are within a racial construct.  Me sounding white is an oxymoron, because I am noticeably a darkskin black girl, and then there's the dreads.  Apparently dark skin black girls are supposed to be loud, obnoxious and ghetto, with speech patterns that mimic rap lyrics.  Not the case in my situation, or that of my close colleagues.

*Most recently while chatting with @LovePublicity I mentioned that I was "conversing" with other professionals about some event, she interrupted with "Don't you mean 'conversatin'? As we both broke out in hysterical laughter I realized that most people don't really know the later isn't a word.

Now, I have been known to use certain words in jest, but common conversation would never find me peppering speech with grammatical mistakes.  I have been reading books for too long to make minor up-chucks in prose.


But what other issues assist in creating this misconception of black women?

My Family ... Dad an Mom are in front

Of course, the idea of color.  Now my family is not at all mixed ... my father is a handsome darkskin man, and my mom is a little, actually she's quite fair, much like the members of her family who all seem to be a shade or three lighter than my sis and myself.  But I don't ever remember being ridiculed for it or feeling bad until I went to high school.  There I found that "lightskin, long hair" chicks were all the rage.  And at that time, I had a wild and crazy afro, so I really had no chance.

I remember two guys, revealing that they had a crush on me, but both of them had girlfriends that were either mixed or could be mistaken for such.  And another gentlemen who I felt was a nice guy questioned continuously my choice of hairstyle, stating that I'd "never make it in the professional world with an afro".

(Newsflash bro .. check me out)

Pretty for a ...
you bet not finish that sentence!

But no one out right told me that I wasn't pretty because I was dark skin, nevertheless there were girls in my classes that would be endlessly called out for their "darkness", to the point where one decided, mid-sophomore year, to wear blue contacts and a long weave for the remainder of her high school career.  It was confusing how quickly the ridicule stopped.  They accepted her as the pretty woman she was, even though she had to filter herself.

Later on I encountered a friends' father who would constantly refer to me as her "darkskin" friend.  He himself wasn't even that light, and the comments really didn't hurt me, however as a grown man, I wondered how would fall victim to differentiating me by my complexion.  Both myself, and his daughter we black, right?  The classification just didn't seem necessary.

Most recently @BLACMagazine featured a video via twitter of a new documentary focusing on the history of the divide in the definition of beauty in the black community and it really hit a sensitive spot.  I addressed how black people saw dark and light skin women ... and its noticeable ... amongst most communities, the darker a person is, the less pretty, the less smart or the less happy you are.  Despite the amount of talent, the amount of potential your education or experiences have endowed you, this is something millions of people deal with.
(Like, why is Beyonce more popular than Kelly? Seriously, I just jumped a ton of guns...but I'm just saying.)

Peep the video that inspired this post

Well, now at 26-years old, living in Texas, people that I never would think have told me that I was pretty (yes, I am talking about white men).  I don't know if its the exoticism that is talked about, I've never thought that I was exotic by the least, I am American (of African descent as my mom puts it).

Can one American appear exotic to another American?

Its all quite a confusing argument.  I guess for now, I'll just be #BlackInTheCity and see how far that takes me.

I would love to hear your thoughts on the subject.

TTYL

Don't call me MOMMA! The TX fight for Planned Parenthood

I took on the responsibility of assisting in the everyday livelihood of two younger cousins while my aunt took a roadtrip to Detroit a few weeks ago.  I had no clue what I was getting myself into.

Drew and I ... looking happy

The two boys, let's call them Drew (9) and Tony (13) we beside themselves with joy, they were being left in the care of their cool cousin, but they hid their happiness so well I felt the need to try and please them.  Break them out of their norm of come home from school, homework, video games, dinner, bath and bed routine.  I wanted to do something more, something interesting and controversial.  Visit a museum, play baseball in the park, something fun.  Well, they thought otherwise.  On the first night I was sooo tired from cooking dinner, running Tony to practice, answering ALL of Drew's million questions, picking up used paper towels, organizing breakfast for the next morning and answering the rest of Drew's questions.

I couldn't figure out, for the life of me how my almost 80-year old aunt decided to take the boys in in the first place.

"This is crazy." I thought. I immediately began to search, instead, for things to do for myself on the weekend my Aunt returned.

I decided to run a tight ship, implement chores and bedtimes.  That's when I heard it, it cut like a knife, "This is supposed to be fun," Tony was going in, gearing up to shake my world, "you're trying to be our Momma! You're NOT MY MOMMA."

He yelled at me as if I didn't know that his argument was true.  I wasn't these kids mom, and didn't want to be, nor did I feel like I should be wrapping my schedules around theirs, the life of a freelance publicist and writer is enough to deal with, having two kids in the mix was not ice cream on the cake, gravy on the potatoes, soy on my sushi ... oh no.. it was a trial.

The whole experience put me on a mission to do a little research.  I have some amazing friends that are amazing parents.  They are active in their children's lives, they have their schedules organized, their 30-minute meals are actually 25-minute meals that they breeze thru .... they are parents, real parents. Unlike me and my leased kids (yeah, I said leased, they cost me a good amount of money while in my care).

While on my trip to Austin, (the one I planned while sitting) I was introduced to the fight for Planned Parenthood in Texas. Apparently new legislation has threatened to close the program, which saves Medicare about $25 million each year, has created such of an uproar that women around the state or up in arms, protesting.

Lady Protesters urging drivers-by to "honk" their support

The bill to cut Planned Parenthood was created by one republican Bob Dueull of South Carolina, who out of his left wing agenda magically thought it as the method to ending abortions in America, apparently it included killing Planned Parenthood.  I wonder if he thought about the hundreds of thousands of unplanned pregnancies that would result as well as the cost of funding state aid for low-income mothers.

Where as previously #PP was funded 90% with federal dollars and only 10% with tax dollars from the State expense of not funding #PP would definitely be left up to low-income, budget straining women.

Planned Parenthood isn't just for the extremely poor, informed teenager with a boyfriend, not in the least.  By my conversation with some of the protesters, the program offers health screenings and birth control for uninsured and under-insured women of all walks of life, whether they are young teens or freelancers like myself.  They are women that have been affected by the downturns in the economy, and are trying to take better control of their lives and their health.  By getting rid of Planned Parenthood more than 100,000 Texas women a year will be left without the education and connectivity #PP offers.

I urge you all to educate yourself on the new bill, which offers to keep the Womens Health Program, a subsidy of Planned Parenthood, but does not offer information on controlling births (i.e. abortions), and completely dissolve its "parent" program. I don't want to crowd your judgement with anything but facts ... but I do want your opinions on the state funding of Planned Parenthood in your neighborhoods and the message it portrays to mothers and women in their individual paths thru life...

After my week with the kids, I was glad people were standing up to the Bob Deuells of the world.  Personally I am all for not having extemporaneous kids, in the end, it becomes everyones responsibility to raise them ... whether they are left to a sitter, foster care, or worst.  Sometimes contingencies must be made for the greater good of the people (the actual people, those that live lives, stumble and fall and the such), those who need something as important and time consumingas parenting to be ... well, planned.

Get hip, stay safe and TTYL Blacks!

find more info here

MASH Magazine Launches w/ FREE Download @ Zinio.com

It's finally here.  After months of planning, my good friend and fellow #BlackInTheCity chick has launched its premiere issue.

for more info, visit MASHmag.com

And.

It. 

Is.

Awesome.

From the articles to the fashion spread, the piece on Sugar and how it completely affects your Skin ... its a great read and visually it is beautiful.  I highly suggest you get your free downloadable copy, which is available to view on any computer, iPad or Android device.

Congratulations to all of the Detroit-based models, writers and photogs that had anything to do with the magazine ... good job.

In the future expect some great things from MASH Magazine, they are planning a Prom Event for young girls who need help with makeup and styling, as well as a few fashion events in early August ... but I am scooping my girl Mashawnta (MASH Mag editor).  So download the magazine and let me know what you think about it.

Here's a little info about both MASH and Zinio....

About MASH Magazine
MASH is a new quarterly tablet magazine focused on beauty, fashion and design for the modern, young, digitally fabulous multicultural audience.  MASH magazine celebrates modernity and the parallels between beauty, art, fashion, architecture and urbanism.  We set trends, push boundaries and campaign for urban beautification and personal awareness.  MASH aims to introduce design disciplines to and of under represented communities, while maintaining a multicultural editorial aesthetic.  
Like our readers, MASH obsesses and indulges in style, it radiates not only in the way we dress, but our homes, streetscapes and cities.  As we aim to stay relevant MASH is proud that it remains unique and informative, and inducing others to learn and encourage dialogue about the future and fusion of design and style disciplines.

About Zinio
Zinio is the world’s largest newsstand.  With is many digital products and services, Zineo creates better ways for people to discover published content, get more of it and do more with it.  Now, readers can purchase content once to be read on any screen.  Zinio provides the ability to shop for, search inside, read, share and save digital content in 29 local newsstands in any country in the world.  Through the ZINIO UNITY reading platform, readers can move seamlessly within each publication page between text, interactive graphics, animated illustrations, videos and much more.  Offering hundreds of thousands of the best digital titles, Zinio’s e-stores and applications are revolutionizing reading.  Founded in 2001 and privately held, Zinio is headquartered in San Francisco and has offices in New York, London, Paris, Barcelona and Taipei.  Visit www.zinio.com

Download, read and send it as a gift to your friends ... 

ttyl

Pretty Girls Work ... and Rock

SO, a few nights in a row I have been sleepless with writing and writing, and wasting time on the internet when I should be writing and then more writing.

Now, if you follow me on twitter, and I suggest you do @darealchrisreed, you are probably familiar with my jokes, small tidbits of info concerning building business, retweets and side eyes.

I try not to clique up on twitter, because talking to a wide array of my followers and the people I follow is way more fun. Sometimes I just chime in, becaus

e it's all I may have time for.

But on more than one instance I was bombarded on twitter by "models" sending out pics of themselves in order to gain exposure. Now, this isn't a blog about knocking model chicks (get ya money boo), I mean, I myself considered the trade, but ... um ... I already got on a good train called College, and well, didn't feel like leaving that. Anywho, I instantly threw myself into the twitter-rant of @OhMyGlenda, ironically she's a model...

"...feel like i gotta shake my ass for some singles and get some ass shots to get attention in detroit.."

"some of these photographers only wanna shoot you...if you getting naked...#pause...i'll wait..sorry perv"

(@OhMyGlenda)

I had to agree. I mean, I'm no model, but the amount of exploitation that most women put themselves through in order to get a little attention, um, my bad "exposure", is getting a little ridiculous, and has definitely taken over some of the mindsets of the younger generation.

To the point where girls are aspiring to devote themselves to the most outlandish of professions, video model, groupie, professional facebook photo taker, non of which too lucrative...and if that falls through, some of these young girls (and I am speaking from my experience as a SAT/ACT test prep teacher in Detroit Public Schools) actually think to fall back on a career as a medical transcriber would carry them their whole lives. Um, there's a reason Devry has to go up against the collegiate accreditation bureau every year...CUZ THAT MESS WON'T LAST EITHER!

I don't want to be the weird stage mother, where I live surreptitiousness and vicariously through my younger students lives, imposing on them my values and my understanding of how college should be mandatory. But they aren't hearing that.

You see, when I was in high school, I was kinda ... weird. But not like the weird kids they have now, I

was kind of "I ain't trying to get in your face about anything, cuz I got my own thing going on." Me and my pumas, my GAP one-shoulder book bag, timberland boots worn with thick cable-knit tights, jean skirts and ofcourse, the "Why don't she have a perm" afro ... at Detroit's historically fashion forward Cass Technical HS.

(I say that so you don't think I was "I don't have a friend in the world, I hate everyone" type of weird)

But I turned out alright. I followed a few trends, yes, but I never fell victim to using my body as a tool to make money, create a following or a fanbase ... aside from posting a new avatar or cute fb pic, that I am not going to say is covered head to toe ... but I'm no participant of #tittietuesday.

So what is

the lesson here? ... ladies and girls ... and some of the boys around the world ... there is no type of "modeling" that goes on between 2am and 4am. That's what the government calls "soliciting". (pause for applause)

Ofcourse my life isn't super glamorous, but its eventful, weeving my way through the "pervs" as OhMyGlenda explained, finding other true divas who are just as regular, yet on a path towards a success that has longevity ... who may, on my 30th because it sounds fun, and I ain't GOT to, hit up an amateur night somewhere far far away from my home, or maybe just do the VixenFitness class. I find that my boys are still my boys, they respect me (yeah, its possible).

My girl @LadyWhitehead sent me to this Youtube video ... (there's cursing in it mom, so...don't have it loud with dad around), but I completely associate with this chick...

Funny right? I was crying laughing so hard when I saw this. So go forth ... be you, be wonderful, be weird ... but please, be fully clothed.

As of late I have been focused and I am inspired by all of the women that I know who, aside from being beautiful have decided to devote their minds to creating successful businesses. They are networking, searching for new opportunities, growing and giving.

Shoutouts to my mom and big sis Chloe (look out for her nail salon coming soon to San Antonio!!) @AndreaStellar,@Icis, and all the rest that I have been conversing with @MashMag, @MiaRayRay, @LovePublicity, @DeeTheDiva, my girl Traci Ricks. More power ladies.

*again, this post is not by any means knocking the stripping or video model profession, however I feel that there should be more done, mentally, to prepare girls to believe that those jobs are substantial and are reputation breaking, you may see that a video model gets her own show on VH1, but how often is this? How hard was it for her to legitimately voice her desire and willingness to be on her show? Did she have to work to be taken seriously as well as work to be viewed as an object? Viable questions before stepping into that role.

**also, I must say RIP to my bestie forever to my girl Meloni O'Brien Smith, she was a beautiful soul, activist, inspiration and yes, model from Detroit

...

she took me on my first photoshoot when we were at Fisk University together. Killed by a drunk driver Apr. 7, 2007, only God knows the amount of potential this woman had...

ttyl.

Center Stage San Antonio ... date w/ my new city

So...today I went out ... all by myself ... mostly because no one likes my driving. But you know what ... these people down here dart in and out of traffic just like me...I fit right in.

First stop...getting there...

Ofcouse I had to stop at La Galleria ... I don't think that's the name, but it had a Macy's and a GAP ... perfect combination of mainstream fashion, cuz this sista ain't wearing no 35-gallon cowboy hats.

That was it ... I had a good time. Made it through traffic, through the city, met some sweet people, got a chance to soak up the sites ... next stop, FIESTA TEXAS!! Rollercoasters!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR from River Place Bar & Grill

So the official party of Black in the City Blog is ..... drum roll please ....The Year EndLESS Party @ River Place Bar & Grill, it has all the amenities, open bar, complimentary champagne toast, open bar, tapas, live music, open bar, did I say open bar ... kinda proud of myself for talking the owner into that notion.

Here's the info...

Hope to see you all there!! I'll be on ... I mean, at the bar ... just kidding mom, I'll be bartending. LOL! HAPPY NEW YEAR!

-cr

CHRISTMAS DAY DEALS

Eating Good - Black Girls Eat Gnocchi Too!

So, I tried my hand at making soup this week, not just any soup either ... the good soup, from Olive Garden, the Roasted Chicken and Gnocchi soup.

After realizing that they must've put atleast 3-cups of milk in their soup I went right ahead and bought a can of Campbells Cream of Chicken, basically saving myself 1000 calories.

And VOILA! Here ya go!
Roasted Chicken and Gnocchi Soup(w/ spinach, celery, garlic and onion) a creamy warm blend of Italian potato dumplings. It was delicious.

Whip My Hair .... from drab to fab

So, this year, I've had a ton of fun just kinda figuring out that I need to get back to my roots. I need to get back to when I enjoyed reading and writing and random little crafts.

Recently I have had the joys of being the manager of my parents' home in Detroit. Oh the joy!

They did me the favor of leaving me with a whole house of furniture, on a different note, none of it seems to match ... so, this will be a transitioning time for me. I'm thinking I'll have to make this a real project.

Can't wait to see what comes of it ... I'll try to keep everyone posted.


Oh! Speaking of projects ... I, being randomly bored one morning, went ahead and dyed my locs a luscious black....peep the before and after shots

The dry brown was getting on my nerves, it was high time for a changeand it begins ...

Um, what did I get myself into?

war wounds...
poor Haus tried to help with the directions.

Whipped ... but not beaten


And the reveal ....



Watch out there now!!

...tons of crafts this week, yeah, black girls luvs the crafts