It's been a while. And I feel that I owe all of my faithful readers an explanation...which is weird because I am never the one to explain myself to anyone. My motto, "Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies", and "What you don't know, won't hurt you", but, it's time to grow up. So here it goes.
I got a job.
There. I said it. And I didn't want anyone on any of my social networks to ever know that I was currently employed and therefore not fully devoted to creating and growing my PR business. You see, it's all about perception, especially when I've voiced so heavily that I am an entrepreneur, I didn't want to appear to others what I felt I'd become, a sellout ... a clock puncher.
After I left my long time stint at Blue Cross as a procurement specialist I vowed that I would never want to work as a "regular" employee again, I wanted and needed to be in control. I hadn't done what I wanted to do in a while so I began creating my own lane, getting recognized as a resource when it came to idea/proposal creation and event planning. Having a few connects and experiences under my belt helped in giving me the confidence to get more. The "out of sight, out of mind" factor didn't really matter as I began social media marketing for a few startups, especially when I relocated to Texas. Nevertheless, push gave in to shove and I my contracts soon expired. Looking for new opportunities in my new base-town was a long and drawn out process and little writing gigs, marketing excursions and small events weren't paying the bills.
So, I got a job. (There, I said it again)
I should've just tried a little harder. That's what I am telling myself now.
Fast forward to the present. I lasted at the large retail store for all of a month before the manager, scared for her own job, fired me. They FIRED ME. I have never been fired in my life, and in all honesty was on the verge of giving my 2-weeks notice. But to be told that "We don't want you anymore." is a new concept. I have laid low on a few non-paying clients or people that have totally misused my advice thus creating negative press or missed opportunities. Trust me, I know that its better to just drop some people from your life. But to be on the receiving in is not a good look. I began to question my work ethic, my ability to coexist with other people. I had gotten FIRED ... to me that's like being randomly arrested for something I didn't do.
Then it dawned on me, I wasn't supposed to be working there in the first place. I am a business owner, which may, at any point, during my day carry the title of customer service representative, but only when it comes to handling MY customers ... not those of anyone else.
Ofcourse I understand that being a business owner mean you are always striving to make your clients, customers and the public happy...but in the same instance you have the power to select your clients, create customer involvement on your territory and speak directly to your public ... as a clock-puncher I couldn't select who would come into the store, who I worked with, what to say to the people I came in contact with ... sure there was a nice discount on uber-designer clothes, but was the fact that they told me when to come and go, what to wear and how to wear it even worth it? Not at all.
And what's with the fact that I would've had to give them 2-weeks notice before I could leave ethically, but they could lose me at the drop of a #dime ... I mean, seriously? That just urks me.
Yep, I got a job. And got fired.
And I am hiring my old life back. And this time, it's full time.